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And that's the best lesson of them all. It was very freeing, and is one of the reasons, I think, we had so much fun together I'm sure the fact that he's incredibly laid back didn't hurt, either. If you're not worried about it ending or where it's going, then you're not worried about doing anything that might mess things up, so you're just completely yourself, like I was with him. It just means managing the age-old paradox of staying true to what you want big-picture for your life while still being present in each moment and not attached to the outcome. And you have the power to decide whether or not the situation is acceptable for you and choose how long you want to hang around in it.
Life goes on after a breakup. This is a realization I've been fighting against accepting for years. This is the best thing I learned about myself from this experience, and the way that I really walked away changed. As much as I hate to admit it, when I've gone into dating someone in the past who I thought had the potential to be something serious, I've started putting pressure on it.
This doesn't mean not to be clear on what you want from a relationship or partner, no way. He and I had a talk early on about the fact that it was obviously going to end at some point, because we're just at such different places in our lives. When there's no pressure on it, you can simply spend your time enjoying each other, getting to know each other and allowing it to unfold naturally. It was spent simply enjoying our time together.
Because the truth is, you can't build an authentic relationship if you're not authentically yourself. Don't spend your time worrying about where it's going. This also relates to someone's issues or emotional blockages. Almost a year and a half ago, I got out of a very serious and very loving relationship, one which I had put my whole heart into. And, not only was I super happy, it also proved to be one of the most drama-free, stress-free dating experiences I've had in years.
Not only is that the way for it to grow, but also the only way you can truly get to experience the joy of real connection with another person. When two people are just in different places in their lives with regards to relationships, then it's just the way it is, and there is nothing you can do about it. We become so caught up in the idea of what that relationship could be rather than getting the chance to see if that person or that relationship is something we even want.
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